February was a month of big changes in our schedule.
First of all, I joined a gym. It was very intimidating at first, but we got a childcare package with our membership, so you can imagine how much easier that makes it to work out! But, it also means I pack up the kids and take them with me four or five days a week. I thought it would be good for all of us.
But then, kind of unexpectedly, we were having a meeting about our oldest’s development, and they recommended sending him to a special preschool four days a week. I was NOT prepared to be facing that kind of milestone! Sure, he’s been going to preschool two mornings a week already, but that school is affiliated with our church and my husband’s job. Sending him to school has, so far, been a matter of him “going to work with dadda” twice a week. This was our first time sending him to a public school, and, four afternoons a week is just a lot longer! I cried for a few days.
Add to all this the fact that we’re still sending him to our church’s preschool two days, to hopefully preserve those friendships, and what you’ve got is this: In a matter of a couple weeks, I have gone from the SAHM that leaves her apartment maybe twice a week, to a full fledged car-line mom!
Let me make one thing clear: I have no idea how to do this. I mean, I DO know how to cart my kids around and pick up and drop off my kid at a couple different preschools. I know, I’m not anywhere near as busy as, say, a mom that works outside of the home. Or even, I don’t know, anyone with children over five years old. It’s just that I don’t know how to do THIS… new stage of motherhood. I was getting really good at the toddlerish stuff. I thought I had more time in this slower (albeit tiring) stage of life with two little bitty kids. I know plenty of kids that don’t attend ANY preschool until the year before kindergarten, and we have a year and half still. As a matter of fact, when I was little, I didn’t go to preschool at all! What happened?!
So, no more roaming around in my pajamas with a laundry basket all day. No more wondering what day of the week it is. No more looking at the clock expecting it to be 1:30 and it actually being 10:30.
Things just got a lot more STRUCTURED, and, as hard as I’ve fought to deny it, it’s probably just what our family needed. For everyone’s sanity.
I say I’ve fought hard to deny it. I’m noticing a trend. God tends to convince me I’ve been wrong about something, just before I need to act on the changed beliefs. In the past month, before joining the gym or sending my kid off to the big school, I’ve felt like God had been teaching me about our need for structure, how my preconceived notions of what motherhood should look like might be a little too narrow, my heart and how it resists any lifestyle changes… I felt a lot more at peace when I looked back and could see that, even though I didn’t know this whole preschool thing was coming, God did, and even seemed to be preparing my heart for just such a transition.
I don’t really notice God teaching me clear lessons like that very often, but this isn’t the first time it’s happened right before a major (to me) event. Next time, I’ll be on the look out!
Just to be clear, I realize I’m being MAYBE a little over dramatic about something that, while for me is a symbolic life transition, for everyone else is just my being slightly less spoiled than I’ve been for the last four years. Sorry about that. It is what it is. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!